My First Bra

Intriguing title huh!? I know I am SO behind in getting blog posts up, but I promise I'll get caught up. But in all our cleaning and organizing getting ready for the move I found a bunch of my papers I'd written through high school and college. What can I say, I'm a saver. I laughed when I read this story I'd written about my most embarrassing moment so I wanted to share. I have another story I'll add after I get caught up on my regular life posts too. So, enjoy. Remember I was in high school when I wrote it, so ignore any big mistakes.



Being the youngest of six girls I’ve always looked up to my older sisters. I couldn’t wait to be smart, beautiful, and mature just like them. Naturally when Mary started joking with me about my need for a bra I was ecstatic. Of course I didn’t really need a bra, but it was a sign that I was growing up.
I was only 11 years old and it was one of the biggest Saturdays of the year. We were at the dress rehearsal for the annual dance recital. It had been a long a grueling rehearsal. There was a huge sigh of relief when we finally reached the finale. I was standing in front of my oldest sister, Mary, thinking through the steps of my debut solo from one of our dances when she leaned forward and said the words I’d been waiting to hear for months. “Wow, Sarah, looks like you need to start wearing a bra.” she said teasingly, referring to my barely bigger than mosquito bites, development.
“Really? I do?” I whispered, trying to contain my excitement.
“Yeah, tell mom when you get home,” she patronized.
I couldn’t wait to get home and share the wonderful news with mom. My mind started racing to all the things that I would soon be doing because I was getting so old. I was going to start wearing make up soon, wearing nylons of my own for real - not just dressing up with my older sisters nylons with runs in them. I could probably even get my ears pierced in no time. Then came the biggest thought… I would soon be dating!
I excitedly threw open the door after rehearsal and ran straight up to mom’s room to tell her of the great news.
“Mom, guess what?! Mary says I need a bra!” I shouted with joy. “Can we go? Can we go now?” I went on, giving her no chance to answer.
“Oh, she did? Are you sure?” she questioned.
“Yes, yes!” I assured her.
“Wow, my little girl is growing up so fast,” she marveled. “I guess I have a little bit of time to go shopping, and we’d better get it before you’re in your leotard tonight for the recital.”
“Yea!” I yelled running straight for the car.
We entered the underwear section of JC Penny and I felt like such a woman, going through the rite of passage, looking for the perfect bra. After about a half hour of looking and trying on, I was starting to think that this wasn’t such a fun idea. I was about ready to give in and tell mom that I didn’t really need a bra when I saw it! The bra I’d been searching for. It was shiny, white satin, with a little pink flower between the tiny “ALMOST AA” size cups. I went into the dressing room and put it on. I could barely fill the cups; but that didn’t matter, I’d fooled mom. It was the best training bra I had ever seen. After buying this adult brassier we went home so I could show off my sign of womanhood. We returned with just enough time to get to the dance recital.
I guess the dance recital was going just as planned. I wouldn’t really know because I was only concerned with my new bra. I went through the second nature steps and every now and then I’d sneak a peak at my sexy white bra. I found that when I looked straight down I could barely see the white satin under my red leotard. After one of my lingering peaks I looked up to the faces of all the dancers in my group, and realized that I’d just missed my cue for my solo. Great! The time I had the chance to shine in the spotlight, I was standing in position with my head buried into my chest admiring my bra. I tried to cover it the best I could, but I don’t think I succeeded. My face went bright red until I had to chuckle to myself for my stupidity. My only hope was that my embarrassing moment looked like a planned part of the routine.
As I sat in church the next day contemplating this embarrassing moment, my mother’s words kept repeating in my mind, “My little girl is growing up so fast.” I analyzed the meaning of this and worried. “Oh no, does this mean that she doesn’t want me to grow up?” I questioned myself. “She probably thinks that she’s getting old, because I am. Oh no!” I worried. I decided that the only thing to do would be for me to stop wearing my beautiful, brand new bra with the darling pink flower, that I’d longed for, so that I could stop time. I’d gone one whole week without my bra when I confessed to mom that I hadn’t worn my bra for a week and she didn’t need to worry about me growing up too fast. When she heard this brave declaration she laughed and calmed my fears about growing up, and her aging. After hearing this happy news I ran right to my room to put on my wonderful, feminine brassier!

Place yur bets...

Living in Las Vegas I figured I'd give you the opportunity to place your bets on when I'm going to officially lose it.
3 weeks from yesterday is when we load the van, and even though I've had some pretty good cry fests since November, I don't think it's actually hit me yet that we're really leaving Las Vegas. Today during church I started realizing that we only have 3 more Sundays after today in our ward. I got chocked up and couldn't keep singing the hymn till I pushed the thought back in my brain telling myself not to think about it, because I didn't want to break down right there in church. This happens a lot. I start getting emotional and if I'm alone I'll have a little cry, but then I get busy dealing with another aspect of the move and I don't have time to cry.
I am so excited to move, and for this new adventure to start, so I spend time thinking about that rather than how much I'm going to miss everyone, and just life here. Probably because it's not so fun to think about the heart ache that I'll experience.
So... here is the big question... When will I have my emotional bawl fest that will leave my face all red and splotchy with an uncontrollable snotty, runny nose?

Will it be....

* On the last day of my kids' swim lessons (believe me, it will probably be emotional for me)

* At the going away party? (By the way, if you haven't heard and want to come, going away party next Sat. at 2:30 at Winchester park. Bring ice cream, or an ice cream topping to share)

* 4th of July?

* 1st Sunday in July (Fast Sunday)?

* Every Sunday leading up to our move?

* Some random night after everyone is asleep?

* Packing up the house? (which we've already been doing?)

* Loading the truck?

* Looking at our empty house? The one that we walked through every step of the way as it was being built, imagining our life here with our little baby (Hayden) that we were pregnant with at the time? (Geez, the tears are starting to come already)

* Leaving a forwarding address at the post office?

* Our last Sunday in our ward that we have absolutely LOVED!!!?

* Dinner with Jerry's family? Maybe even delicious burritos?? (Hint hint Carol:))

* Our last night as a family here in Las Vegas?

* Saying good bye to amazing friends that have meant the world to me and our family? Friends that became my family/sisters when I moved down to Vegas all alone without knowing a single soul? Other friends that are amazing people that I look up to, and aspire to be like them. Friends that I feel I've known my entire life, and plan to stay friends with forever, even though distance will separate us. Friends that I need to talk or text daily to vent, laugh, check in with, or share a moment with. Amazing! Wonderful! Selfless! and Thoughtful! I have been very blessed!!! (Ok, now the tears really are flowing, I gotta stop)

* Driving by the 3 schools that I taught at?

* Going to Target on Nellis? (yes, it just might happen)

* Saying good bye to my children's friends and cousins? Watching them say good bye? (That is going to be a DOOZY!)

* My last Dr. appointment with Dr. Paul? (Yes, I'm a sentimental sap - but he's delivered all 3 of my children, and he won't deliver this one. Kinda weird)

* Seeing Jerry drive away in the truck on his way to Indiana?

* Driving up to Utah with the kids? (I can almost guarantee tears then)

* Random moments during my stay in Utah when I'll look at a family member, or at my kids playing with cousins and the tears will come?

* Picking up Jerry at the airport as he flies back to Utah for the family reunion?

* The last day of my family reunion?

*Saying good bye to my family?

* Flying to Indiana while Jerry drives the van with the kids? (One benefit of being as far along as I'll be, I don't have to do that 22 +hr drive. Well, we could but it would take at least a day longer, and we're anxious to get there)

* Unpacking in our new home?

* Jerry's first day of school?

* Our first day in our new ward?

* Hayden's first day of 1st grade?

* Rebecca's 1st day of preschool? (hopefully, if we can find one cheap enough)

* When my baby boy is born? (definitely tears?)

Here's my thoughts - I think I'll probably cry at all those times leading up to the HUGE bawlfest that will happen about a month after my darling little baby boy is born and life is getting back to normal, at least the new normal, and Jerry is fully into school, the kids will be into the school year, and some random night I'll probably be watching a tv show and I'll think about how we used to watch that show sitting in our little living room in Las Vegas and it will hit, and it will hit hard, and I'll probably go back to this post and look at all the things on the list above and I'll cry a river for each one. And I will be so grateful for the last 11 years that I've had in Las Vegas. All the wonderful memories that have been made, and amazing people that I've met. Family that I've gained, and awesome friendships that have been made.

I am so excited for our move, and the new adventure we'll have. I really feel it will be a great experience for us, definitely hard at times, but it will be worth it. It's just hard saying good bye. I already look forward to trips back to Vegas. (Maybe we'll arrange them when it's not 114* outside)

So when will I lose it???

An unexpected trip to the ER

Sydney has been sick for a couple days. She's had a fever with diarrhea. Yesterday I noticed that it was a little bloody. (Sorry, probably TMI, but it's necessary for the story) I thought I'd watch it for a bit, but it got worse. I made the mistake of looking on webmd to see what it possibly might be. Never do this!! Conditions ranging from a simple stomach bug, to a virus that takes months to heal and can have permanent damage, to lukemia. That got me stressed.

This morning her fever was down a little so that was good, but she still had the bloody diarrhea. I made an appointment with the pediatrician for the afternoon, then debated if I was wasting my money. I hate going to the doctor, spending $20 to find out it's just a virus and will just take some time to get better. Nothing I can do.

After her nap it was even worse. This time it was in a diaper since I have her sleep in her diaper, especially when diarrhea is involved. I was glad I'd made the appointment and wrapped up the gross diaper to take with me just in case the doctor needed a stool sample. The worst is that it is very painful for her too. She just cries everytime after she poops. So sad.

Her fever had spiked after her nap though, it was 104* when we got to the doctor. I hadn't given her any fever reducer because it had been down in the morning, and after her nap it was 102* but I knew we were going right to the dr. and in a way I wanted the temp. to be accurate without any medication masking it. Now I feel horrible that it got to 104*!!! They gave her some medicine right there. But other than that my doctor didn't seem to be too concerned... at first. He said it was a virus, and probably a tummy bug, and just some little fissures were causing the blood. But he still wanted to check out the diaper and do a test to make sure it was blood, etc.

He came back shortly and said he was concerned. The poop looked like it was jelly like, which is a sign of something called, inteseptis? I'm sure that's not the way it's spelled. Basically it's when the intestines bind up, kind of like when you push a telescope closed. If it happens to the intestines it cuts off the blood supply and can be quite dangerous and require immediate surgery to heal it. She has also been complaining of a tummy ache. I kinda figured it was because she was hungry, but severe abdominal pain is another sign. He said, it might not be, but after seeing the diaper there was definitely concern.

What would you do?? There was no way that if there was a chance of it being something serious that I'd opt not to check it out. He called the ER and told me they were waiting for me and to go over there right then.

I was happy he'd called ahead because I only waited like 5 minutes before I got into a room with her. I had to hold her down, and listen to her scream as they had to get a stool sample, and since I left the other diaper at the pediatrician, and she didn't need to poop while we were there they had to go "retrieve" a poop sample. She was NOT happy about that. Then they also needed a urine sample by using a catheter. She got a few minutes for me just to hold her and calm down when they needed to get a blood sample and put an IV in. Because it's such a delicate procedure with getting it right in the vein I couldn't really be right there holding her. I had to stand back and look at her screaming eyes, looking at me wondering why I was making her go through this. She fought hard. They finally got it in, but had to tape it so much so she couldn't bend her hand and mess with the IV line. Oh, that poor girl. Finally they were done and I got to hold her. She just clung to me. The doctors were great and very gentle, she just fought and fought though. She had just about fallen asleep when the X-Ray technician came in to X-Ray her intestines. I couldn't be in the room because I'm pregnant. (Plus, I really had to pee:)) I left while they did the X-Rays and I could hear her screaming all the way down the hall. My heart just broke for her.

Finally all the tests were done and I was able to just hold her and rock with my baby. She fell fast asleep. Next we just had to wait. The doctor told me that it really didn't look like inteseptis, but they wanted to continue with the tests to rule it out completely and make sure, and just to find out what it was, like if it was salmonella or ecoli.

Finally after I'd been there for over 3 hours they got the results and the doctor was happy to tell me that she is perfectly fine. She just has a stomach virus that will take a couple days to go away completely. It is only contagious through her feces, which is a little more controllable than a respiratory virus at least. YAY!! I hadn't really been too worried, but it sure was a relief to hear that she's fine. She said the X-Rays looked great. They don't have all the blood test results back yet, but they will call me tomorrow when they get them, but they didn't see any reason to be concerned. When the nurses took the IV out of Sydney's hand she gave them a half smile, but she didn't like them too much other than that. Poor girl. (Not their fault, they were just doing their job, it just wasn't what she wanted them to do.)

So I went to check out and had to pay my ER co-pay of $200!! For some reason I thought it was only $100, but oh well, what could I do then. I chuckled to myself thinking that I didn't want to have to pay $20 to go to the pediatrician in the first place to find out it's nothing. But now I paid a total of $220 to find out it's nothing. I guess sometimes peace of mind is worth $220. I'm just grateful she is healthy. I'd pay way more than $200 if needed to make sure my children are healthy and going to be just fine. Plus I got some extra good snuggle time with just me and my little girl out of it.

Quick Quiz

We were talking about names for our baby tonight. Any input? Which do you prefer - knowing full well, we get the final vote:) We all like them all, but for fun I listed everyone's first choice.
- Luke (Hayden and my #1 pick)
- Lucas
- Dylan (Jerry's #1 pick)
- Michael
- Justin (Rebecca's and Sydney's #1 pick)

And as always there are some names we like, but we can't use because it doesn't work with our last name - for example, Samuel/ Sam.

Leaving Las Vegas

That's right. In July we'll be leaving this....
And going to this.....
The news has already been out for a few weeks, but I haven't officially put it in my blog yet. So here it is, and of couse, since I'm me - the story along with it. Some of the details are a little personal, hopefully I haven't shared anything that is too personal - I don't think so, but then again, my life is an open book, I don't filter enough sometimes:).

In late October/early November I was talking with a friend whose husband was going to be graduating with his Masters degree soon. (Yes, Korina, this is all your fault) Her husband is a teacher and earned his degree online. Jerry has wanted to go back to school, and get his masters for quite some time, but we could never figure how to do it with his busy work schedule. I wondered if maybe doing an online degree would work for Jerry. That way he could work it around his schedule a little better, and it would be cheaper too. All the sudden I got really excited about the idea and couldn't wait to share with Jerry.

I didn't want to wait till he got home, so I called him at work and told him about our conversation, and wondered if he'd like to do that. Truly, he was kind of doing other things at work while I was talking to him, and I thought it might be in one ear, and out the other. But I felt good after talking to him. So, as a side note - one thing I've learned about Jerry in our 8 years of marriage is that sometimes he needs time to kind of process things, then decide it on his own. He didn't bring it up that night, so I decided not to push the issue, but let him think on it for a bit, then bring it up again in a few days, to see if he thought any more about it.

I was shocked the next morning when I got a call from a university asking for Jerry. They said that he'd requested some information online yesterday, and wanted to talk with him. WHAT?! So, long story short, he thought it over and decided that he felt it would be best for him to go back to school and get his MBA, rather than doing it online. And he really didn't want to go to UNLV, that's where he got his undergrad. So, yep - changes all around. That means quitting his job and moving somewhere else. Believe me - I shed lots of tears almost every night thinking about leaving my friends down here, my children leaving their friends, being so far away from Jerry's family, and my kids being away from their grandparents. Many tearful prayers were said. I needed to know that we were making the right decision, because when I'm feeling lonely and life is hard, I need to know that even if it's hard - it's the right thing. I always felt comfort, and peace after I prayed.

So we started the whole application process. First he needed to take the GMAT - YUCK! Since it's been 6 years since he's been in school he decided to do a study course online to help prepare him for the test. He studied, and studied, and studied and finally took the test. He'll be fine if he never has to think about that test ever again:) Then he started applying to different schools.

During this time we got pregnant, which we were ecstatic about, but it also was weird to think we're having a baby, just don't know where yet! Applying and waiting and trying to plan our future was a frustrating process. It seemed like nothing was working out like we wanted. He wanted to go to Purdue, but I was kinda unsure about it. It is SO far away. One thing did make me happy, and that was that my brother, John is going to Purdue right now, and I'd be able to be close to him and his family. But other than that I was really hesitant about it. Purdue seemed to kind of fall through, and then the plan changed to Utah. We planned to go to U of U and do the professional program, so work during the day, school at night on Tuesday and Thurs. It felt right, and it made sense. So our focus shifted toward finding a job in Utah, because once he had a job for 4 months he'd be able to get in-state tuition. I was so happy because I'd get to be in Utah close to my family headquarters, and close enough to Vegas that we could visit often. It wouldn't be quite so hard to leave. For about 5-6 weeks we looked diligently for jobs in Utah and were so frustrated. He got a couple call backs, but nothing really materialized. Even though he has 6 years of management experience in the uniform industry, he wasn't qualified for some jobs because they wanted 5 years of experience in their specific industry, like the healthcare, or power industry. It was so frustrating, and it was very hard on Jerry as well.
We prayed and prayed through this whole process, that we'd get a good job so that he could go to school and we could get started on this next step in our lives. Nothing happened.

We kept praying and praying, but one night the focus of our prayer turned to, helping us to go where we were supposed to go. The place that would be best for our family, where Jerry would be able to thrive the most. And, if we're thinking in one direction, and it's not right - make it obvious cause we aren't seeing it. The VERY next day Jerry got an email from Purdue saying that they'd like to do a skype interview with him sometime that week. WHAT??!! We hadn't heard anything from them in over a month. We thought that door had been closed, and I was a little bit relieved when the door closed before. Now what do we think about this? I was in shock, then started crying. (I'm pregnant - that's my excuse for constant crying) We had been so focused on Utah, and pictured it happening, but now the Indiana door had been opened again. And I couldn't help but remember the previous night's prayer. This seemed "obvious" to me. And I knew, once they interviewed Jerry they'd be nothing but impressed, because - well, he's amazing, and he has great experience to bring with him. (But I am a little biased I guess:)) Once again, that night after Jerry went to bed, I stayed awake to think and cry - some more, and pray again. I prayed that if it was right for us to go, that I'd be ok with it, and not just ok, but even a little excited to go there. The next morning when I woke, I was fine. I wasn't stressed or very emotional - probably because I'd used my quota of tears. I even started thinking of the positives - and got a little excited about the prospect of a new adventure for our family, being close to my brother John and his family, living somewhere completely different than I've ever lived, and it's only 2 years, that's gonna fly.

He had his interview a few days later, and then we waited. We didn't want to get too ahead of ourselves, but it was hard not to picture us moving there. We didn't plan on hearing anything for 2 weeks, that way we wouldn't get frustrated if it was taking too long. Three days later he got an email of acceptance. We are very excited. I know I've already gone into tons of detail, so I'll spare you the details of everything else that's happened since then, but it just seems like ever since that first email, everything has fallen into place. We know it's where we are supposed to go. It doesn't mean that life will be just hunky dory, and I'm not expecting that I won't still get lonely and homesick. I know it will be hard having 4 kids including a newborn baby, while my husband is going to be at school or studying constantly. But it does help to KNOW that we are in the right place for our family. We're excited. And I'm feeling more and more ready to go. I'm ready to go, but not ready to leave. I just want to take everyone with me.

I hope I haven't shared too many personal things. This has really been a testimony building experience for us, and in a way I wanted to share the up and down experiences of this all. Even though at times, we felt like we were swimming aimlessly around, we know that through this whole process the Lord has always been aware of us, guiding us, and letting us figure things out and learn as well.

April Recap

We had a busy month of April. Here is a quick little recap of some events - and I'll add more tomorrow (hopefully, I'll get to it.)

The big haircut!
My princess Rebecca loves her long hair. But I hate the bat
tle to comb it every morning. She has always cried at my threat to cut it, until she saw one of her best friends got a haircut. Her friend had grown her hair out to donate to "Locks of Love" Rebecca thought that was the coolest thing ever and decided she wanted to cut her hair. I wasn't ready to cut the whole 10-12 inches that they require because it was a huge step cutting it as it was. We chopped off about 6 inches. It still has length, and I love it. She is so excited about it. She thinks it was donated. Shh, don't tell, it was donated to the garbage.









Sydney wanted to be cool like her older sister, so she got a trim as well.
Bike Rodeo
Hayden had the bike rodeo at school, and we went to cheer him on.





Easter/Utah trip
My parents returned from their mission to the London, England LDS Temple the Wednesday before Easter. That was our spring break, so we figured that weekend would be a great time to go up and welcome them home. And believe it or not, I didn't get one picture of them. How horrible.
While we were there we went to temple square with the kids. It's always great to go to Temple Square.
We went to an Easter party that Joseph's neighborhood has every year. The kids had a lot of fun hunting for eggs and playing all the games. Later that day we went and visited with my parents some more, but I forgot to take the camera again:(
That night we dyed Easter eggs. HOLY COW! What a big job that is with 6 kids. Hands reaching for dye from every direction. It was a lot of fun....for them.:) I'm very glad we did it.
Here they all are right before bed. Notice the 3 oldest kids all wearing Ethan's pajamas. Yes, even Rebecca. It was the "cool" thing to do.
The kids had fun hunting for eggs Easter morning. It was a great Easter.
We went out to my parents' ward for church, then came back to Joseph and Angela's for a delicious Easter dinner. We were able to talk with the kids about why we celebrate Easter. I was happy to see that they really understood, at their own level the atonement and resurrection. I don't quite have words that can adequately express my gratitude to our Savior for the gift he's given us through the atonement. To know that we can live again and return to live with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ is amazing, and wonderful. I love my Savior, Jesus Christ.

A Random Day in April
I felt like a good mom one day because I made play dough. the kids loved it. It kept them entertained for literally 2 hours. That shows you how often they get to play with play dough. I'm really not a big fan of play dough in my house because it usually ends up in the carpet. Not this time though. Towards the end they thought it was very cool to position their toys in it, in cool positions. Notice Hayden's Luke Skywalker doing a back bend over the clone. Pretty cool huh.



So, there you have it. April in a nutshell. Tomorrow (If I get to it) I'll catch you up on our BIG news.

Our Baby!!

We had our ultrasound a couple weeks ago and found out we're having a baby..... BOY!!!
We would have been happy either way, but we were hoping for a boy. Good to even things out right:) Hayden has "known" it was a boy since we told him we were going to have a baby. Rebecca wanted a boy until about 2 weeks before we found out because she wanted another sister to play dress up with. And because she decided she really liked the name "Izzy" from her favorite show, "Jake and the Neverland Pirates." She tried to throw a fit when we told her it was a boy, but she got over it pretty quickly, especially because it isn't going to change the gender of our baby if she's happy or sad.
Hayden really wants to name him Luke, which is actually one of the names on our list. But I will have to put my foot down with the middle name being Skywalker. He's already started calling him Luke, like in prayers he'll pray for "Luke." I don't know if Jerry and I will have much choice in this matter:)